either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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