Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
