It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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