adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
