She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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