dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
