Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
