love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
