That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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