i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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