walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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