it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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