dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
