you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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