Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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