Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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