i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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