Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Are we still banned from the library?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
