My brain says no but my pants say off.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
