i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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