we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
