I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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