I'm really into asian looking animals
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We're too hungover to prance.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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