the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
