This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
