you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
