there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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