I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
