every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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