Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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