We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
