"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
