I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
