I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dignity is for republicans.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
