I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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