So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
