Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
