Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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