I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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