I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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