butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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