She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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