i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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