Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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