can u get pink eye on your cock?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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