Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
