that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
