ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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