apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
