I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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