your thong is hanging out like whoa
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
