that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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