would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
