I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
