we're blogging at a bar
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
