Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
