Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
