It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
