brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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