I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
