Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize