I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize