So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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