It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
